Now, Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu’s female sevak, Amma Kshatrani, lived in Kada. The sentiment of her story is described here:
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): In the divine play, she was Rohini. Therefore, she stayed with Shri Nandaraya. Later, she went to Mathura. But her heart remained in Braj. For this reason, after receiving a connection with Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu, she was accepted into the Braj Lila. Hence, her feeling of being a mother is firm. Amma Kshatrani lived in Kada, and she had a large family. Amma had two sons—one was two years old, and the other was four years old. At that time, Amma’s husband, mother-in-law, father-in-law, mother, and father—all passed away. Only Amma and her two sons remained. Gadadhardas also lived in Kada. There Shri Acharyaji came.
One night, Shri Thakurji gave Amma a dream: “In the morning, you must go to Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu’s refuge. I am with Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu. So come to me and perform my seva.” Then Amma awoke from her sleep. She became greatly restless in separation. “When will the morning come? When will I go to the refuge of Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu?”
When the morning came, she bathed and came to Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu, bowing down. She said, “Maharaj! Please accept me into your refuge. And you have Shri Balakrishnaji with you. By your grace, at night, he gave me this command in this very manner.” Then Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu, seeing Amma’s pure devotion, made her perform the name dedication.
At that time, a Brahmin had come from the south. With him was a small Shri Lalji. Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu gave that Lalji to her, and then went to Badrikashram, where he performed penance for some days and left his body. That Thakurji was placed upon Amma’s head. Shri Acharyaji instructed, “His name is Shri Balakrishnaji. With the feeling of motherhood, serve him with the love of a son.” In this way, he showered grace upon her.
Amma’s two sons were named as Shri Thakurji’s intimate friends. The elder was “Arjun,” and the younger was “Bhoj.” Their names were dedicated, and Amma was instructed: “Do not give your two sons food from anyone’s hands. Give them only Shri Thakurji’s Mahaprasad. They are connected with this divine play. If they eat without Mahaprasad, they will face obstacles.”
In this way, Shri Acharyaji accepted Amma and then went to Kashi. There he accepted sannyas and performed the lila of removing demonic illusion.
Prasang 1 – Amma Kshatrani’s Service in the Mood of a Mother
Amma Kshatrani served with love in the feeling of motherhood. Her two sons also called her “Amma.” Shri Thakurji himself, out of affection, also called her “Amma.”
In this way, Shri Thakurji played with both of her sons. They would rub bricks and apply the powder on one another, and scatter it around. Seeing this, Amma became very happy in her heart. But, in her maternal love, she would forbid them: “What kind of play is this? It might fall into someone’s eyes.”
After some days, one of Amma’s sons—the elder one—passed away. Then Amma went to Shri Thakurji and sat crying. Many women also wept with her. Seeing Amma cry, Shri Thakurji said, “Amma, do not weep.” He forbade her in this way, consoling her. But Amma did not stop weeping.
After some time, Amma’s other son—the younger one—also passed away. Amma began to weep deeply. Then Shri Thakurji again forbade her, saying, “Amma, do not weep.” But she did not stop crying. Then Shri Thakurji, while in Adel, said to Shri Gusainji: “Amma is weeping, and I am feeling very sad. So, you go and console her.”
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): These two sons left their bodies because if they had grown up, they would have become involved in worldly duties. Amma’s mind would then have become attached to their marriages and other affairs. But these two were Shri Thakurji’s intimate friends, so they were quickly called back.
Why then did Amma weep, being devoted to the Lord? The meaning is this: ordinary people weep due to attachment to their sons. That was not Amma’s case. Rather, Shri Thakurji played with both of her sons—rubbing brick powder, applying it on one another, scattering it. Amma used to witness many such kinds of play. That joy of watching the play was gone. Her two sons were Shri Thakurji’s playmates. Now, with whom would he play? This was the feeling with which Amma wept. Therefore, Shri Thakurji, being pleased with Amma, forbade her. He could not bear Amma’s sorrow. And if Amma had served with attachment in the ordinary sense of motherly affection, Shri Thakurji would not have spoken.
Then Shri Gusainji, coming from Adel to Kada, went to Amma’s house and said to her: “Do not weep. Shri Thakurji feels sorrow.”
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): By saying this, Shri Gusainji revealed the true form of Amma’s sons—that they were Shri Thakurji’s intimate friends. If they had grown older, they would not have remained fit for the divine play. Therefore, do not weep. Then Amma stopped weeping.
Amma’s love was such that when she lifted Shri Thakurji, she would apply pure fragrant attar with both hands and touch it to his body, saying: “My hands are rough, and this tender child has delicate limbs.” In this way, she performed all seva with loving care.
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): This fragrant attar was the true symbol of the love of Shri Swaminiji. This shows that Amma served with the feelings of Yashoda and Rohini, like the devotees of Braj. Therefore, Shri Thakurji remained very pleased with Amma.
Prasang 2 – Amma Kshatrani and the Bowl of Milk
Once, a bowl filled with milk was placed before Shri Thakurji. After setting it down, Amma closed the door and came outside. At that time, Shri Gusainji came to Amma’s house. Then Amma asked him, “Baba, what is the proper time for Shri Thakurji?” Amma herself replied, “Baba, please come inside. For you, it is always the right time.”
Then Shri Gusainji slid the door and went inside. There, he saw Shri Thakurji holding the bowl in his hands, drinking the milk. Seeing this, Shri Gusainji closed the door and returned back the same way.
Then Amma asked, “Baba, why did you return again?” Shri Gusainji replied, “Shri Thakurji himself is drinking the milk.” Amma then said, “But he is just a child! Do you not know that?”
Then Shri Gusainji said, “Please send this milk to our dera (residence).” Amma replied, “You are the one who makes him drink. Whether you make him drink here or there, it is all the same.”
Hearing these words of affection from Amma, Shri Gusainji became very pleased and went to his dera. Afterwards, Amma too brought milk and made Shri Gusainji drink it.
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): The reason for this is that Amma was the form of Rohiniji. Shri Balakrishnaji belongs to Rohiniji’s feelings. That is why, when Shri Balakrishnaji was drinking the milk, Shri Gusainji returned back. The meaning is this: Shri Navneetpriyaji is the Thakur of Shri Gusainji. If it had been him, then Shri Gusainji would have made him drink.
But Rohiniji has great affection for Shri Chandravali also. Rohiniji understands the bhava of Chandravali. That is why Shri Gusainji, being pleased, said, “Send us this prasadi milk.” In this way, he pointed towards a past lila.
Then Amma said, “Whether you make him drink here or there, it is the same.” The reason for this is: “You are the one who makes him drink. You are the caretaker of Thakurji. This Thakur belongs to you.” Later, after Amma left her body, Shri Gusainji placed her at the feet of Shri Navneetpriyaji.
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): Why so? Because the feeling of Shri Gusainji matched with Rohiniji. Rohiniji is also the one who attains perfection in the lila. Therefore, Amma was the most blessed and divine soul. That is why her story is told in such detail.
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): This varta reveals the principle that Shri Thakurji cannot bear the suffering of his devotees. Therefore, if worldly or scriptural sorrows come, a Vaishnav should remain patient and not feel distressed. And if he must feel sorrow, then let it only be in relation to Shri Thakurji.
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