Now, the sevakni of Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu, a Kshatrani (lady of the warrior caste), who lived alone in Singhanand, her story’s meaning is being told.
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): In the Divine Leela, in Nandgaon, there is the elder Upanand. His daughter-in-law’s name is Sunanda, and this Kshatrani is her manifestation. Therefore, she possesses a childlike feeling. She was born in the house of a Kshatriya in Singhanand. When she was eleven years old, she was married. A month after her marriage, her husband developed smallpox and died. She then stayed at her parents’ home. She managed all the household work. Later, when she turned thirty, both her parents also passed away. She had one brother, and she had great affection for him. However, she did not get along with her brother’s wife, her sister-in-law. So, this Kshatrani moved to another house.
Then her brother said, “Why have you separated yourself?” The sister replied, “Daily quarrels are not good. What difference does it make if I live separately? I am still under your command. Tell me whatever work needs to be done.” Then the brother gave her one hundred rupees and said, “Keep this for your expenses.” The sister said, “Right now, I have enough for my needs. If I ever don’t have it, then please give it.” The brother said, “Right now, I have some cash in circulation for business, so take this now. Who knows where I will be later?” So she accepted it and kept it.
In Singhanand, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were sevaknis of Shri Acharyaji. She started visiting there daily. One day she said, “Please let me do some work or service for Shri Thakurji.” Then the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law said, “You are not a sevakni of Shri Acharyaji, so how can you do service?” She said, “When Shri Acharyaji arrives, please make me a sevakni.”
Later, Shri Thakurji of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law said, “This Kshatrani knows well how to make beautiful embroidery designs on fabric. Have her embroider for Me in My garden.” Then the daughter-in-law said to Shri Thakurji, “She is not a sevakni of Shri Acharyaji. And she will not take any fabric carefully, so how can I have her do embroidery?” Then Shri Thakurji said to that daughter-in-law, “That Kshatrani is a divine soul. Therefore, have her do the embroidery. In a few days, Shri Acharyaji will arrive, and then she will become a sevakni, a beloved one of the Lord. Therefore, have her do it. It is My command. You will not be at fault.”
Then the daughter-in-law gave a white piece of cloth to that Kshatrani and said, “Please embroider small floral designs on this.” She happily accepted it, considering it a great fortune, took it home, and began to embroider with love and devotion. Though she did not worry about keeping the cloth clean and pure, yet, knowing it belonged to Shri Thakurji, she carefully completed the embroidery, and then gave it to the daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law then offered that embroidered piece to Shri Thakurji.
Later, that night, Shri Thakurji appeared in a dream to the Kshatrani and said, “I have accepted your embroidered work with love and devotion. Now, in two days, Shri Acharyaji will arrive. Your brother has Shri Thakurji in his house, go and bring Him from there to your home and serve Him.” Then that Kshatrani woke up and said, “When will it be morning so that I can go to my brother’s house?”
When morning came, the Kshatrani went to her brother’s house. Her brother and sister-in-law had been quarreling for the past two days. Because of the discord, no food had been cooked. The brother said, “Sister! How come you are here today?” She said, “My heart feels restless when I’m alone. Please give me your Shri Thakurji, so I may worship Him.” The brother, being pleased, said, “Sister, you have said a very good thing. Shri Thakurji has been without food for two days because my wife keeps quarreling. Take Him.”
Then she said, “Please give Him to me with your own hands. If I take Him myself, your wife may quarrel with me.” So the brother bathed and gave Shri Thakurji to her. She joyfully brought Him home, cooked food, offered bhog (offering), and took the Mahaprasad.
Later, when Shri Acharyaji arrived in Thaneswar, the daughter-in-law said, “Shri Acharyaji has arrived. I am going for darshan. Will you come?” The Kshatrani said, “I have brought Shri Thakurji from my brother’s house; I will bring Him along from home.” The daughter-in-law said, “Bring Him quickly.” Then the Kshatrani brought Shri Thakurji and went with the daughter-in-law to Thaneswar.
She bowed to Shri Acharyaji. The daughter-in-law narrated everything about the Kshatrani to Him and then humbly requested, “Maharaj! Please bestow Your grace upon her and accept her in shelter.” Then Shri Acharyaji said, “I already know. Shri Thakurji has already shown His grace upon her.”
Then Shri Acharyaji said to the Kshatrani, “Go and bathe, then come back.” So the Kshatrani bathed in the Saraswati river and returned to Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu. Then Shri Acharyaji Mahaprabhu gave her the Name (initiation), performed Brahmasambandh for her, and later bathed Shri Thakurji with Panchamrit, naming Him ‘Shri Navneetpriyaji.’ He placed the deity upon the Kshatrani’s head and said, “Serve with full devotion.”
Then the Kshatrani and the daughter-in-law bowed to Shri Acharyaji and returned to Singhanand to serve. From the fourth day onward, seeing the deep love of that Kshatrani, Shri Thakurji began to show affectionate signs of grace.
Prasang 1 – The Kshatrani’s Complete Detachment and Loving Service
All of the Kshatrani’s wealth gradually diminished, and she became poor and without possessions. She sustained herself by spinning thread, which she sold for her livelihood, and through that, she continued her service.
At her house door, vegetable sellers, fruit sellers, and others would come to sell vegetables, fruits, nuts, and such. Shri Thakurji would say, “Mother! The vegetable-seller has come; weigh and bring some.” Then the Kshatrani would take a little of each kind, a small amount of everything.
When fruit-sellers or nut-sellers came, Shri Thakurji would call out, “Mother! The fruit and nuts have come for sale!” Then she would buy all types for one paisa. The vegetable woman thought, “Her son must be very dear to her. She never lets him come out, so that no evil eye may fall upon him.” So she always gave this Kshatrani the first choice of goods.
Those who earned a lot in the village would tell the sellers, “First go to that woman’s house and sell to her.” So the Kshatrani would buy. She would then prepare the vegetables, some raw, some boiled, some roasted and cook them lovingly as offerings to Shri Thakurji.
Sometimes, when the vegetable-sellers went away early, Shri Thakurji Himself would go to the door, call out to the woman, and say, “Come quickly! My mother will buy.” Hearing that sweet voice, the woman would run to the door, but when she entered, she would see no one there.
Then the Kshatrani would say, “Lala! Do not go outside; the evil eye may fall on You.” Shri Thakurji would reply, “If the vegetable woman goes away, from where will you bring vegetables? How will you offer Me food?” She would say, “Lala! Many sellers will come again, but You must not leave the temple. The eyes of wicked villagers may fall upon You.”
Sometimes, when the vegetable-seller left without hearing the call, Shri Thakurji, like a little child, would get upset and say, “The vegetable woman has gone! Now from where will you bring vegetables? How will you make offerings? I will not eat without vegetables!”
Then she would say, “Lala! Another seller will come, and I’ll buy from her. And if no one comes, I will bring all kinds from the market myself. Please don’t get upset; stay happy.” Then Shri Thakurji, like a child, would climb on her shoulder and say, “When will you bring them?” showing His grace in this way.
On the days when there was no money to prepare offerings for the child-form of Thakurji, she would cover a roti with ghee and keep it aside. Sometimes, late at night or at midnight, Shri Thakurji would awaken and say, “Mother! I am hungry.” Then she would say, “Lalji! Today, no special food is prepared, only rotis.” Shri Thakurji would say, “Give me one, rubbed with ghee.”
Then the woman would spread ghee over the roti, sprinkle some sugar powder, roll it slightly with her hand, and place it in Shri Thakurji’s hand. He would bite it gently with His teeth and eat, like a child. After eating, He would drink water, chew some betel, and then lie down to rest.
The woman would then feel much sadness in her heart, thinking, “Today I could not prepare any special dish for Lala because I had no money. Tomorrow I must borrow some to make something delicious. Tonight, He had to eat plain rotis.”
So one day, early in the morning, she went to a neighbor, borrowed ghee and sugar, cleaned the flour, and made four kinds of delicacies, keeping them ready. When it was midnight, Shri Thakurji woke up and said, “Mother! I am hungry.” She rose and placed the delicacies before Him. He ate, and then said, “Why did you not keep rotis today? You didn’t have money, so where did you get these delicacies?”
She replied, “What could I do, Lala? I have no one to earn money. I had no cash. Last night, you ate dry rotis, and my heart felt so bad. So I borrowed from a neighbor and made these dishes. I will repay it in two or three days after selling the spun thread.”
Then Shri Thakurji said, “Mother! Why did you borrow and make these? I like ghee-smeared rotis. If you take loans, debts rise upon the head and are hard to repay. When the lender asks, you will feel distress. So do not do this again. I like your simple rotis with ghee. From now on, make those and keep them ready.”
The woman did as instructed. When she earned enough money from selling thread, she made delicacies. If not, she offered the ghee-covered rotis.
Bhav Prakash (Revealing the Sentiment): Shri Thakurji forbade taking loans because debt is like a sin. The mind that remembers Shri Thakurji should not get entangled in borrowing. Until one repays the debt, the fruits of one’s service do not reach them; instead, they go to the one who lent the money.
Therefore, Shri Thakurji prevented that woman from taking loans. Some may wonder, since Shri Thakurji Himself showed childlike grace to her, why did He not have Lakshmi grant her wealth? Why such hesitation in accepting even the simple rotis for child-bhoga (offerings)?
The reason is this: when Shri Thakurji resides in Braj, Lakshmiji also wishes to enter Braj, but she cannot. It is said in the Gopi Geet of the Bhagavat, “Jayati te ’dhikam janmana vrajaḥ, śrayata indrīr adṛśyatātra hi” meaning Lakshmi herself desired to come to Braj but could not enter.
Hence, though Lakshmi is the divine consort and servant of Shri Thakurji, she acts only according to His will. Shri Thakurji did not give wealth to this woman so that her mind would not be distracted. If she had abundant money, how would her devotion and humility increase?
Without wealth, while spinning the wheel, her mind remained absorbed in Shri Thakurji. She would think “Let me prepare this today. My Lala will eat rotis. Good, good, I will arrange something lovingly.” In this way, her heart stayed attached to the Lord.
Therefore, He only gave her enough for daily needs, not excess. Without pride in wealth, she lived humbly, and her devotion grew. Lakshmi acts under the Lord’s command, so how could there be excess wealth?
Some may wonder, if Shri Thakurji came at midnight to ask her for food, what about ritual purity then? Or when He climbed her shoulder to call the vegetable-seller, what of impurity? The answer is this: in Shri Acharyaji’s Pushtimarg, Shri Thakurji resides in the Maryada-Pushti manner. In the temple, He accepts all offerings through the Pushti (graceful) mood, every material, garment, ornament and appears formally (as per ritual propriety) for darshan but does not speak.
However, in His Bhaktoddharak (uplifting devotees) form, He appears to His beloved devotees personally, speaks, and interacts in human-like Leela. There, ritual purity has no place, only love and affection prevail.
Thus, in the temple, the Kshatrani served Shri Thakurji with all due rules and rituals. But when Shri Thakurji came at midnight or asked her personally, that was His Bhaktoddharak form, where love is the supreme dharma. The Supreme Blissful Lord plays with His devotees, speaks, laughs, and expresses feelings. There, ritual impurity does not exist, only divine love reigns.
Hence, in the homes of devotees, in the path of Grace (Pushtimarg), Shri Thakurji manifests and interacts in His Bhaktoddharak form. Devotees who recognize this and serve lovingly without rigid ritual concerns do not commit offense. In the temple, service should follow Maryada-Pushti (discipline with grace), but in the home, love without restriction is dearest to Him. The Lord hungers for love, not for ritual formality.
Therefore, if one leaves rituals out of arrogance, they become offenders; but if they transcend ritual through true love, they are exalted. Understand this distinction well.
Thus, this Kshatrani was a vessel of Shri Acharyaji’s grace, with whom Shri Thakurji interacted like a child. In the Divine Leela, she is the daughter-in-law of the cowherd Upanand; there, she has the feeling of a son, and here too, the same firm feeling of maternal love exists. Hence, up to this point, the story of the Kshatrani.
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